You have just been asked to be someone’s bridesmaid, maybe even maid of honor – congrats! But what do you do as a bridesmaid? It’s not just the champagne at the bachelorette party or being a part of the pictures of a lifetime, it’s about being there for the bride and groom, and much much more. There are plenty of bridesmaid duties to do that can not only help out the bride, but will bring you two that much closer together. If this is your first time being a bridesmaid, you might already have a few expectations of yourself and your new role. Maybe you are coming into this experience not knowing anything about weddings. It’s okay! To help ease your process into becoming a wonderful bridesmaid, here are some bridesmaid myths ready to be debunked and thrown out the window.

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I just have to show up at the wedding, right?

What is your role again in this wedding? A guest? No, you are a bridesmaid which means that your only job isn’t just to show up when it is time to walk down the aisle. One of your bridesmaid duties is to be there for the events leading up to the wedding: the engagement party, the bridal shower, the bachelorette party, the rehearsal dinner, and the bridesmaid dress fitting. That does not even include any alterations you need for your dress, being there for the bride while she picks her dress, and helping out with any other bridesmaid duties, such as putting together the invitations.

Only the maid of honor has to do the work.

It takes a village, right? The bride chose her bridal party to help support her through this process. It is more than just being next to her at the altar, but it is also a lot of little details that go a long way. Bring her Advil if she needs it, curate the greatest playlist ever while you all get ready, and help her change into her wedding sneakers during the reception. Be there for because you never know when it will be her turn to help you!

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I won’t need to spend THAT much money. 

This one can go either way. Yes, you will spend money on dresses, the different events, and a gift. However, how expensive or not you want to go is up to you. You can easily spend over $1,000 being a bridesmaid but again, you don’t have to. If money is an issue, or you simply want to be mindful of it going into the process, talk to the bride. Perhaps it is compromising on a dress under $200, or not choosing the most luxurious hotel for the bachelorette party.

You’ll never wear the bridesmaid dress again.

Unless you’re trying to be the next Katherine Heigl in 27 dresses, you really might never wear that dress again. That doesn’t have to be the case, though. Choose to either rent it, or find a style of dress that you can actually see yourself wearing again. If the dress is long, maybe cutting it short will not only refresh the dress but it’ll be useful for other occasions. Remember, you did just spend a bunch of money on it…

I won’t need dress alterations.

This is another bridesmaid myth that can go either way. It’s unlikely that the dress will fit you so perfectly that you will not need a tailor. You might get lucky but chances are, alterations are necessary to look amazing in your bridesmaid dress. Keep in mind when you do get your alterations to breathe normally and be totally honest with your seamstress. Do not suck in any belly fat because you will be uncomfortable the day of the wedding in a dress that does not fit. Also, bring the undergarments you plan on wearing with your dress so the altercations can also keep in mind what you will be wearing underneath.

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I can order a dress in a size smaller and just lose the weight before the wedding.

NO NO NO NO NO. How many times can we repeat this! Crash wedding diets DO NOT WORK. Not only are they unhealthy but they will take a toll on your attitude, due to lack of food. Imagine how many unnecessary arguments you might have with your bride just because you were hangry (hungry + angry). One of the biggest bridesmaid myths is that you can just drop a size or two in time for the wedding. Never put your body through a diet that will do more harm than good. If you do want to tone up or lose weight, do so by going to the gym and choosing healthier food options. Even with the lifestyle changes, do not order a dress that is a size smaller just because you think you will be at a certain number on the scale. Order your dress true to your regular size and if you do happen to lose weight, it is easier to get an alteration than have to find another dress that actually fits you.

The bride will just pay for everything. 

Don’t let this bridesmaid myth fool you. While the bride is paying for many things, do not assume all of your costs are included in that too. Thinking big picture, she is paying for much more than the bridesmaids are. While she might gift you the accessories or the shoes, or anything specific she might want you to wear, the bridesmaid dress is all on you. While you could talk to her about not going crazy expensive on the bridesmaid dress or being budget-friendly for any other events, be prepared to cover your own expenses as part of your bridesmaid duties.

“Three times a bridesmaid, never a bride”

Do we really need to answer this one? The superstition says that if a woman is exposed three times to the evil spirits from which she is intended to protect the bride, she herself will not be pure enough to marry. It’s scary talk for, being a bridesmaid three times means you yourself will never get the white dress.

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Bridesmaid duties can include spending hours picking out dresses, maybe getting a paper cut from helping put together invitations, and having a night out with just the girls to celebrate the bride-to-be. It might be a lot of work, but it WILL be worth it! Not only will the couple be thankful for your help, but it will bring you and the bride closer together. Just imagine, she thought you were special enough to have you there up on the altar with her. Crack a few jokes, help her use the restroom, and all will be great.